Something More Like Love and Less Like Friendship
by Morghen
Summary: What happens when Remus discovers that his feelings for Sirius are stronger than they should be? Will he get his happy ending or will he have to be content with being just friends? Slash! Please read and review! T for some swearing and mature ish scenes.


"_I loved you more than I would ever dare tell you"  
_

-Meg and Dia "The One"

"What happened?" exclaimed Remus as he looked at the state of his friend. The smile that had formed when he saw that familiar head of shaggy black hair quickly disappeared when he took a closer look.

Sirius looked up with a start – he hadn't realized that the Gryffindor common room was occupied when he entered it. He hastily wiped away a tear that had been making its way down his cheek and then tried to flatten his disarrayed hair. The third year, however, was unable to hide the fat lip that he was sporting. Looking at Remus, he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly and replied, "It's nothing."

"Nothing?" the sandy-haired boy repeated, raising his eyebrows slightly.

Sirius didn't say anything as he made his way over and took a seat beside his friend. After a minute of silence he looked over at Remus and said, "Do you think I belong in Gryffindor…?"

Remus' eyes met Sirius' as the former's eyebrows narrowed. He didn't reply right off – instead he studied his friend's face. Sirius' usually haughty expression was replaced by an emotion that Remus had never witnessed on him: doubt. "Why?"

The raven-haired boy looked away. He raised a finger to his swollen bottom lip and gently wiped the blood off, wincing. "I dunno. I was just wondering."

"Of course you belong here," Lupin told him. "You probably deserve it more than the rest of us."

Sirius' lips stretched into a smile as he heard those words.

"Did someone tell you that you didn't?" Remus questioned.

"Yeah."

"Is that how you got the fat lip?" He knew that his friend did not have the best temper.

"…yeah." He shot Lupin a playful look and then added, "Wood has quite the temper, doesn't he?"

Remus' eyes widened. "What happened?"

Sirius smiled and replied, "It's kinda a long story, but let's just say that he told me that I didn't belong in Gryffindor and would be nothing but a Death Eater. I got angry and we ended up fighting like Muggles."

"You could've got in to loads of trouble!" Remus warned.

"I know, I know. I'm just sick of hearing stuff like that."

Remus could sympathize with him. Ever since a werewolf had bitten him, a lifelong battle started. He would have to fight the monster label for the rest of his days just like Sirius would have to fight his last name. Instead of further reprimanding Sirius, he reassured him. "Don't listen to them, Sirius. You're nothing like your family – you're different. If people can't see that then they aren't worth bothering with."

Black reached out and ruffled Lupin's brown hair. "You're a great friend, y'know?"

A half-hearted smile played on Remus' lips as confusion spread through his body. For the first time, the word "friend" caused a sinking feeling in his stomach.

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

Remus patted his fellow Marauder's back with sympathy. They were sitting on Lupin's bed, discussing the event that had happened earlier that day.

"I know that he liked her first – I realize that. It's just… Urgh, I dunno. I guess I got wrapped up in the thought of her and never thought about James," Sirius told Remus with a sigh. "I wasn't even thinking when I kissed her – I don't even _really _like her that much… She slapped me pretty hard so it's not like she likes me anyway."

"What did James do?" questioned Lupin.

Black grimaced at the question. "He didn't say anything – he wouldn't talk to me. I mean, I said that I was sorry – what more does he want? I'd take it back if I could, obviously." He paused for a moment as he twirled a loose thread belonging to Remus' red comforter. "If you were James, would you forgive me?"

Remus slowly shook his head. He would forgive Sirius for anything that he did but Lupin didn't think that James thought about Sirius in the same way. He could never hold a grudge – especially not when Black used his infamous "please forgive me" look. "I don't know, Padfoot… He'll come around sooner or later."

"No, but would _you_ forgive me?"

"If I liked Lily like James does?"

The dark-haired fifth year nodded his head.

Remus paused for a moment but then answered, "Yes."

Black shot him a smile and got off his bed, heading for the door. Before he closed it behind him, Lupin heard him call out, "You're a great friend, Moony!"

Remus sighed to himself; he was getting tired of that word. But if Sirius needed a friend, then he would be just that.

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

Remus watched as Sirius threw his luggage bag to the floor and began to empty its contents. He sighed softly to himself – it bothered him deeply to see his friend in such a state.

"And you know what she did next?" Sirius exclaimed. "She told me that I was to become a Death Eater! That I had no choice! I – I told her that she was nothing but a bitch and she hit me!" He paused in his story to point to his right eye. Remus frowned when he saw the large amount of dark bruising surrounding it. "So then I stormed out of there and up to my room to pack. I couldn't take it any longer – I had to leave!" At this point his bag was empty and he leaned his back up against the frame of Lupin's bed. "Then it became a hell of a lot worse… Regulus came in and I could tell that he'd been crying. I'd rather have Mum hit me all over again than see that expression he had on… He must've been listening to the screams from downstairs 'cause he knew I was leaving. He – well he asked me not to go…" His voice became choked and Remus heard him stifle a sob.

Lupin moved down from his bed and sat beside Sirius on the wooden floor. He knew how his fellow sixth – going on seventh – year Gryffindor struggled with his brother. Not quite knowing what to say, he just draped an arm around Sirius' shoulders in an attempt to comfort him.

"I should've taken him – I really should have…," Sirius continued thickly. "I couldn't, though, because if I brought him with me than I wouldn't really be leaving. I'm so goddamn selfish! He deserves a better brother than me…" The grey-eyed boy then did something that Remus had never seen him do before: he broke down into tears – no longer holding back. "I don't even know what's going to happen to him now. Damn it!"

Concern drawing his brow, Remus pulled the distressed boy closer to him. He wasn't completely sure how to appease him but he knew that he wanted Sirius to stop crying. Remus despised the thought of a smile not being on his face. "No, no, Padfoot. It was a hard decision to make… You did your best, but you're not your brother's keeper."

Sirius leaned his head against the light brown-haired Gryffindor's shoulder – not noticing the shiver that ran through the latter's body. "Do you think that he'll end up being a Death Eater? It's bad enough that I wasn't able to make him a Gryffindor…"

Truthfully, Remus did think that the youngest Black would sooner or later become a follower of Voldemort, but he wasn't going to say that. Sirius had enough problems at the moment and Remus didn't think that he needed to add another. "He's a good kid. He'll make the right choice," he answered shortly, hoping his friend would believe his lie.

"He is a good kid, isn't he?" Black repeated while nodding his head. "I sure hope to hell he'll stay that way…"

"He will," Remus answered.

Sirius smiled. "Thanks, Moony. I hoped you would understand better than Prongs. He just can't see why I care so much about my brother… Sometimes I can't either, but you always do." He stopped for a moment and then added, with a laugh, "I love ya, buddy."

Remus forced a chuckle, hoping that Sirius wouldn't notice the red tinge that his cheeks had just taken on.

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

"I don't know what I even want to do with my life. After Hogwarts, I mean," sighed Sirius. The grey-eyed seventh year was lying across his fellow Gryffindor's four-poster bed. The latter was sitting down beside him, listening to Sirius' worries.

A frown spread across Remus' face as he thought about his friend's words. "I thought we were all becoming Aurors? Wasn't that the plan?" he questioned. His light eyes lingered on Sirius, undetected since Sirius' face was buried deeply in Remus' red pillow. Black had been voicing his thoughts to his friend lately and the werewolf couldn't help but notice that they were getting more and more pessimistic. It wasn't unusual, though, since the days were flying by and their seventh year was over half-way finished. Sirius was not the only person doubting plans that he had once been so sure about, but it still bothered Lupin to hear him talk that way.

Sirius turned onto his back and looked up at Remus. Their eyes met for a moment and a smile spread slowly across Sirius' face. The grin vanished, though, as he returned his thoughts to their conversation. "Yeah, that's what we're planning to do, but what if it doesn't work out? What will I do?"

Lupin reached his hand over and gently squeezed Black's shoulder reassuringly. "We'll find a job that we all can do. The Marauders won't stop being friends just because we're done with Hogwarts."

The smile still did not return to Sirius' face. Instead, his face fell a little bit more. "That's what you say now, but what if we all _do _go our own ways? You have your family, James has his family and Lily, and Peter has his mum, but who do I have? No one. Not if I lose you guys. Regulus is still so damn bitter and I know he doesn't want me around him longer than he has to… I don't have anyone worth calling my parents… I'll be all alone. What will I do then?" he asked, worry clinging to each and every word.

"Don't think that way," Remus told him. He didn't understand how Sirius could think that they'd ever just abandon him that way. "I – We will never let you be alone; we are your family. Don't you ever think you'll be alone, Padfoot."

Still after hearing those words, Sirius didn't look relieved. He looked back up at Remus and asked, "You promise?"

Without a moment's hesitation, Lupin responded, "I promise."

Finally, the steel-eyed boy smiled as the doubt left his young face. "You better not break your promise," he warned, jokingly.

"I'll always be there if you need a friend; as will Prongs and Wormtail," reassured Lupin.

A look of disappointment came and went quickly from Sirius' face as Remus said the word "friend." It wasn't quick enough for Remus not to take notice of it, though…

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

"How could you do that? What the hell were you thinking? Oh wait, you probably weren't thinking because you _never_ do! Do you even realize the trouble you could've gotten in if Prongs hadn't intervened? Do you even realize what I could've done to him?" shouted an angry Remus. A cool breeze rippled through his light brown hair as he stood in front of a dumbfounded Sirius. Lupin's face was bright red with frustration as he shouted at his fellow Gryffindor. After tracking Sirius down, all the dark-haired boy had done was merely apologize and expected immediate forgiveness. What the seventh year had in store for him was far from forgiveness – something more like pure rage.

Sirius' forehead scrunched underneath his long black hair. His steel eyes were opened wide with surprise; he had never before witnessed his fellow Marauder this mad. "I told you that I was sorry – what more do you want me to say?" he questioned, confused.

Lupin threw his hands to the sky with aggravation as he heard his friend's words. "You always think that by saying that you're sorry everything will be all right! I hate to break it to you, but it doesn't work that way!" His foot stomped the damp ground, sending water flying all over Sirius' pants.

Black shrugged his shoulders and slightly pouted his lip in the way that he usually did when he thought someone was being too harsh on him. "I can't see why you're so mad. It wasn't like Snivellus didn't deserve it. He had that prank coming to him for being so damn nosy."

His words made Remus even more irritated. His eyes narrowing, he took a step closer to Black and roared in his face, "Are you that thick? That wasn't a prank! That was murder!"

Instead of stepping back to avoid being yelled at a second time, Black stood his ground. Raising his dark eyebrows, he replied in his usual cool voice, "I don't see the big deal."

This statement broke Remus – he was now beyond the point of frustration. "That doesn't surprise me in the least!" he shouted, still in Sirius' face. "You don't see anything! Not even the simplest, clearest damn things!"

"Oh yeah?" smirked Sirius, a sly edge to his tone. Leaning in slowly, he brushed his lips up against Remus' and when the latter didn't pull away, he pushed them harder against his friend's. He could feel Lupin's harsh emotions being replaced as their lips moved against each other's. After what seemed like only a few short seconds, Sirius moved his hands up against the brown-eyed boy's cheeks and pull away. He took a few steps back as they broke apart. His voice low, Black said, "I'm not stupid, Moony."

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

A week had come and left since the two Marauders had shared that secret kiss in the deserted grounds. After that, they had not exchanged a single word, much to Remus' dismay. James and Peter assumed that Remus was still upset about the Snape incident. Lupin went along with it because he really would rather not have them know how what had started as a yelling match had ended…

As strong as his feelings were for Black, Remus would forget everything that had happened in a heartbeat. He really just wanted his friend back. He had suppressed his feelings for years and he would be willing to continue to suppress them if that was what Sirius wanted.

The perfect opportunity for the prefect to discover what his friend wanted him to do was presented to him that afternoon. Black had been banned from going to Hogsmeade that weekend after being caught last time trying to smuggle bottles of firewhiskey back to the castle. That meant that James, Peter, and a majority of the students wouldn't be around, allowing Lupin to speak to Sirius in private.

"Aren't you coming, Moony?" called Potter as he made his way to the portrait door, hand-in-hand with Lily Evans. "Don't tell me you're skipping out on one of the _last_ Hogsmeade visits!"

The light-haired Gryffindor put down the thin book that he was reading and sat up in his chair. He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head as he replied, "No, I'm not really feeling up to it."

Sirius, who had been sulking in the corner of the common room, raised his dark eyebrows as Remus' words reached him. Regaining his composure quickly, he said, "Shit, Prongs, I feel bad for you. Looks like you're stuck with Wormtail and Evans."

Lily moved her long scarlet hair over one of her shoulders as she rolled her eyes at Padfoot. He laughed in response.

Prongs grinned widely at his friend's jest and pulled Evans closer to him, kissing the top of her head. "Moony," he said, pointing to the boy in the chair with mock seriousness, "you better forgive Padfoot by the time I get back. I'm getting pretty damn sick of having to repeat myself twice 'cause you guys aren't talking. It's been a whole week, for Merlin's sake!" With that, he led Lily out the door and disappeared from the room, leaving the two Marauders alone.

Lupin looked over at Black and was taken aback to see that the latter's grey eyes were already on him. He cleared his throat, feeling slightly uncomfortable, as he moved his eyes to the floor. He wanted to ask where his fellow seventh year stood on this whole mess, but he was afraid. That simple kiss had caused his imagination to get the better of him and sometimes he even made himself believe that Black liked him back. Remus knew better than to get his hopes up because he knew he was only going to be let down. Sirius liked girls – it was a fact that everybody knew. There was nothing some werewolf could do to change that. Taking a deep breath in, Lupin said, "Look, I can just forget the k – what happened. I'm fine with just being your friend, like before – I promise."

Sirius dropped his eyes from his friend to his feet. He didn't reply right off, causing Lupin's nerves to work up even more than they already were. After a few minutes of complete and awkward silence, Sirius admitted, his voice low, "I didn't kiss you because I knew you wanted it. I- I did it because _I_ wanted to, and something told me that it felt right." His pale cheeks took on a pink tinge as he realized what he had just said, but Sirius raised his eyes and stared back at Remus. He wasn't going to take back what were most assuredly heavy words-for them both.

A flood of relief rushed through Lupin's veins as he heard Sirius' words. "Are you sure?" he asked, just wanting to be certain, before he became too excited.

Black nodded his head in reply. He moved from his place across the room and took the seat beside Lupin. After he settled himself in his chair, he explained, "I thought about it a lot… It's weird and confusing as hell, but I think it's right. It feels right, anyway…"

A light smile played at the edges of Remus' mouth. He was beyond the point of being happy, but this news still had a bitter side to it. Being in love with his best friend was great, but there were choices for both of them to make considering that that friend happened to be a guy. "What should we do…?" he asked, the reality of their situation hitting him.

"I dunno…"

"We shouldn't say anything to anyone yet, probably… Knowing James, he'll probably find out anyway, but still…"

Sirius leaned over the arm of his chair, closer to Lupin. Their eyes connected, cold grey on soft umber, as a mischievous smile appeared on his face. "Before we decide anything, let me see if it _still_ feels right." He took Remus' smooth cheeks in his hands and brought the latter's face closer to his. Their lips crashed together as one of Black's hands made its way to Lupin's sandy hair. Sirius heard him let out a low moan as their lips parted and their tongues met one another. Remus moved closer to the Gryffindor, his hand rested on the small of Sirius' back, bringing him towards him.

Sirius broke away, his face still close to Lupin's, as he said with a smile, "It still feels right."

Moony rolled his eyes, pulling Padfoot back towards him by his tie.

* * *

**The first thing of lyrics belongs to the band Meg and Dia.  
**

**Oh Merlin, Remus/Sirius HAVE to be one of the cutest pairings to write - ever! They're all angsty and sweet and forbidden all at the same time! REMMIUS FTW!**

**XD**

**Fangz mew for helping me with this! *Hands tissues for the major nosebleed that you probably got after that third-to-the-last paragraph!***

**XP**


End file.
